The Language of Personal Ads

Category: Singles Spit Swap

Post 1 by Dusty (This site is so "educational") on Sunday, 24-Aug-2008 19:15:22

I only just discovered this board and some of the topics have made interesting reading so I thought I'd post this. It's lifted straight from my profile, but it seemed appropriate.

This is my guide to the language of self-promotion. You know, all those phrases and words you see in places like this and personal ads. See if you can find yourself (or me)!

'Bubbly': big-mouth
'Wacky': Mentalist
'Fun-loving': See 'bubbly'
'Life of the party': Everyone breaths a sigh of relief when finally you go home
'Great sense of humour': Miserable
'Been hurt in the past': Grudge-bearing bunny-boiler out for revenge
'Girly': Has more soft toys than hairbrushes, but only just
'Smart dressed man': Gay
'Intelligent man': Gay
'Loves cooking': Gay
'Single, financially solvent professional man': Gay. Or lying
'Career woman': Bitch
'Passionate': Dying for a fuck
'Old-fashioned': No blow-jobs
'Particular tastes': High-maintenance
'Earthy': Nut-scratching, nose-picking Neanderthal
'Assertive': Vigorously opinionated on one subject
'Thirtysomething': 41
'Seeks Knight in shining armour': Husband left me for a younger model
'Alternative lifestyle': I don't wash my privates
'Broad-minded': Sexual freak
'Open to new experiences': Wannabe sexual freak
'Friends tell me I'm gorgeous': Ugly
'Great personality': Fugly
'Cuddly': Fat arse

Post 2 by Blue Velvet (I've got the platinum golden silver bronze poster award.) on Sunday, 24-Aug-2008 23:24:37

LOL Dusty, this is great.

Post 3 by blindbaby (Newborn Zoner) on Monday, 25-Aug-2008 11:18:32

yeah, that is pretty funny. I've seen personal ads on craigslist and you know the bots by the language of the ad. Some of them are pretty entertaining though.

Post 4 by SunshineAndRain (I'm happily married, a mom of two and a fulltime college student.) on Wednesday, 27-Aug-2008 2:45:18

Love it. Although I've seen it in your profile previously. Very good entertainment.

Post 5 by Shadow_Cat (I've now got the silver prolific poster award! wahoo!) on Sunday, 07-Sep-2008 4:53:40

Just saw this, and I'm still laughing my head off. Thanks for that, Dusty. I hadnt' seen it in your profile. Mind if I copy and paste your translations and forward them to a few friends?

Post 6 by Dusty (This site is so "educational") on Sunday, 07-Sep-2008 6:49:10

As long as you credit me, no *smile*